While we were in the PICU, I was blessed to have made some wonderful new friends. Friends that understood what I was going through because the were going through the same thing, even though our babies had different problems. It would be these meds, this infection, or that procedure/test. It was nice that we had each other to talk to, or go get coffee with. The day Jenna passed away and I could finally stand up and feel "ok" to get up for a moment, I went to my friends room to tell her the news, and her sister was there, but sent her to my room as soon as she got there. Kay was the last person I saw in the PICU before I brought Jenna down to the hurse. She hugged me and prayed for us and Jenna and I was so happy that I was able to see her before we left that unit for good.
On 9/11, Kay and I met for dinner and we talked for hours on end about everything. She was preparing to take Emma home for the first time ever the next day. Emma is a precious little girl, I could totally see her and Jenna being best friends. (I actually gave Emma one of Jenna's "outfits" I made her) I could not express how happy I was for Kay and Aaron to be able to bring home their child for the first time after spending almost 9 months in the hospital. After 9 days of being home, Emma was brought back to the hospital where later on that day she received her wings.
A parent should never have to go through burying your child. It is something you never plan on doing, or finding an outfit for. But the feeling of knowing that your baby is no longer in pain and doesn't have to fight and be miserable and uncomfortable anymore, brings peace to my heart. I always try to think of a way that I can get Jenna back but I know I will never get her back, but I know that I will see her and we will be reunited one day.
In the meantime, Jenna and Emma finally got to meet and I'm sure that those two angels are sitting there having a blast and connecting like Kay and I did. They have a special bond and experience that they share. If it weren't for our amazing daughters, I never would have met Kay or Aaron and I thank God everyday that I met them and that they are in my life! I know it will be hard for me to attend Emma's funeral this weekend, but I know how important it is to have that love and support and to see the people that have a special place in your heart.
Jenna and Emma,
Dance as though no one is watching you, Love as though you have never been hurt before, Sing as though no one can hear you, Live as though heaven is on earth. You precious angels are in our hearts forever and we can't wait until we get to see you again!!
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